


sero essemus

by avaloque



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Heavy Angst, I'm sorry I think? But here you go, but it's like minor, i don't like tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-22
Updated: 2020-02-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:13:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22845379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avaloque/pseuds/avaloque
Summary: i'm here.
Kudos: 2





	sero essemus

**Author's Note:**

> Just a warning. It's not violence, but there are graphic descriptions of blood up ahead.

ragged breaths. shuddering, rattling chests - air being squeezed through broken ribs, every inhale so fleetingly precious yet flared a bright pain with every breath. a dry swallow, scratching down a parched throat - the action growing so painful. he felt thick liquid trickle from the gash on his forehead, warmth running down like a ghostly affection till it dripped off his chin into a forming puddle beneath him. 

he barely opened his eyes, exerting to keep them open and fighting off the bone deep exhaustion that plagued his sights. it was gloomy and dim, no change there. but even in the faint light, he saw black spots dancing across his vision. 

another exhale. his shoulders fell sharply, catching the air in his chest abruptly and causing a wracking fit of coughs. he coughed and coughed, each one bringing every single cut, every single fracture, evey single ghost wound back to life and pain engulfed his body like wildfires. he felt the coughs choking in his throat and he tries to free his breaths. he coughs once more violently and he felt the faint splat of thick liquid hit the puddle. warmth dribbled from the corner of his lips as it tilted slightly. 

_figures. blood._

blood. red, dark, enchanting, hypnotising, dangerous, entrancing. blood. more than the number of times he's had a clean bath, he's bathed in carmine - staining the remains of his tatty clothing. it's become a close acquaintance of his - one he'd rather not be acquainted with. but it brings him warmth even if the temperature brings a biting chill in his bones. 

he hums. a faint attempt at trying to remain concious. he knows its a fruitless attempt because he'll end up passing out anyway. but he keeps it up. the sound echoes painfully around his cell and it sounds deafening to his strained hearing. but he keeps it up. its the only thing he's left with hold on to.  
and distancely, his brain sluggishly processes a hum accompanying his own and a small smile falls onto his cracked, pale lips. he taught that to them. a small comfort, to know that no one is alone.

his eyes slip. his humming stops. his shoulder slump, straining against the pain. he feels his mind flit away and he mentally tries to grab it but alas, to no success, and his mind flees from him. he invites the darkness, the warmth and obliviousness that came with unconciousness. he can escape the pain for a while and push to deal with it later. he embraces it.

* * *

shouts. explosions. loud noises. muffled and muted as if he were underwater. his conciousness slips in slowly, drip by drip and the sounds become clearer. all noise, blending into one another, undistinguishable to his waking brain. 

and then,

"lance!"

he eyes snap open at the name. _it's me. that's mine. my name. it's me._ he opens his mouth, jaw creaking and heavy with pain. he cries out for them but all that escapes his lips is a pained whine. he whimpers at the pitiful sound, tears hot and stinging behind his eyes. 

"lance!"

he whips his head. an action he quickly regrets as his beck flared with undeniable pain, sending flames licking down his spine and weakening his legs. his head throbs and pounds with the sudden blood rush, pressing on the gash, slight blood leaking from it again. 

he knows that voice. he knows it. but his brain. isn't cooperating. he strains his mind, forcing it to recognise who was calling out for him. it was high-pitched, concerned, desperate and hurried.

"lance!"

pidge. _oh sweet cakes, pidge_. he suddenly didn't want her to come. didn't want to see the horrors that adorn his body like jewellery. he didn't want her to see the blood that embraced him like a blanket in the cold. he didn't -

"lance! where are you?!"

 _i'm here_. a traitorous part of his mind whispered, the part that seeked for escape. he could hear the heartbreak in her voice, and his heart pained at the memory where he heard it before.

she was screaming at him, he remembered. eyes bloodshot from glaring at a bright screen for over 8 hours, voice hoarse from disuse and tears that tracked down her cheeks. it had been months into space, and they had gotten no where with their search for her brother and father. all he was trying to do that day was to get her to sleep.

"pidge-" he had tried, fumbling and stepping back as the tiny girl lashed out, eyes wide and startled as it peered into narrowed, angrier ones.

"no! i'm- you- you can't stop me from looking for matt and my dad, lance!" she had yelled at him, glasses slipping down her nose in her fury, face slowly turning red in exertion, breath running short as she failed to calm down. 

"pidge, i don't want you to stop, i just-" he had tried to placate, raising his hands where she could see them - a clear sign of peace. he was only here to help.

"no one else here except me will do this. no one is going to help me find my brother and father, so i have to do this myself." she huffed and slumped back into her seat, the exertion from sleeping and the lack of sleep that hung over her like death finally showing its effects on her state. 

lance sighed and sat beside her, keeping a safe distance, aware that the girl was in no mind to be touched. "pidge. you don't need to this alone. you can always ask hunk to help you. coran, allura. hell even keith, shiro and i will do anything to help even if it was handing you a screwdriver!" he huffed out a breath, tiredness coating it subtly. pidge felt the anger in her draining away. she always did this. tire herself till she no longer resembled humans, but a shrivelled shadow, and then take out her frustrations on the innocent man who was just trying to get her to sleep.

"you don't need to suffer alone." his voice was soft, quiet as if almost hesitant to pierce the silence that had ensued the shouting. pidge didn't say anything to him, but he felt she had cooled down - even if by a fraction. "we're family, pidge. and if one of us is hurting, we'll do all we can to make it stop."

he smiled at her, a soft, tired smile, and pidge felt her resolve fracture when she hesitantly glanced at it. a sob ripped from her throat as she flung herself towards the taller, tanned man. her arm circled his neck, tears falling unsightingly, and ugly sobs wracked her chest. but all he did was wrap his arms around her back, warm, comforting and safe, and rocked her gently till her cries ceased.

he held onto her, never letting her go. he whispered into her ear, voice soothing and put her worries temporarily to rest. "we love you, pidge." and she sniffles, a hiccup escaping her throat at the our affection in his voice. she let her voice crack embarassingly, if only to convey her own affections to the lanky man. "i- lo-love you, t-too." 

she had felt the hum than heard it, a deep, satisfied vibration in his chest. and it calmed her down even more. she felt him move slightly back, and let him see the red, wet mess of her face and he chucked. he wiped her tears off with his sleeve and smiled at her. pidge managed a wobbly smile of her own through her weakened sniffs.

"come on." his voice was still soft. "let's get to bed, pidgeotto." he let go of her to turn around, letting her clasp her arms around his neck again and hoisted her up onto his back. "it's way past your bed time, and matt won't be happy to see you wasting at computer."

she felt her eyes close finally, lulled by the rhythm of his footsteps, bones heavy with the exhaustion that she had pushed aside and kept on the backburner. she vaguely registered her being laid onto the soft comforts of her bed and the warmth of the blanket being pulled onto her small stature. 

"goodnight pidge." came a voice in her haze. a smile curled up at her lips, voice slurred with tiredness, "night brother."

a week and two days later, pidge found her brother.

his heart panged again at the fondness in her voice when she had called him her brother and a faint smile curled up at his lips.

"lance!"

louder. clearer. closer. his eyes widened. his mind went through a debate within seconds - _call out or not to call out?_ his mind settled on his decision.

pidge would not lose another brother. he would die on his promise.

"pidge." it came out as a rasp, a faint sound on the frigid air. the sound pained his, forced out of his dried out throat. but he tried again, voice getting stronger with resolve and determination. "pidge!"

"pidge!"

it echoed strongly, clearly and his lips split into a smile. he managed it. he watched with joy as the girl slid into the room, donned armor, bayard in hand and the helmet clasped firmly on her head - white with green. his sister. her eyes were frantic, searching and her steps were sloppy. he worried she would trip over her own feet and fall .

"pidge!"

his heart lit with hope as she got closer. she hadn't beared any response for him, but that thought was barely a niggle at the back of his mind.

"pidge! i'm-"

she ran past him. his heart stopped. frozen. cold. unbelieving. _had she not heard him?_ his mouth was open, the words caught in his throat - _here_.

his head spun with disbelief. _had that just happened? did she not hear me? did she ignore me-_ no! he would not entertain those thoughts even though his heart pained with confusion. 

"pidge?"

his voice was small, echo lost in the blast sounds and shouts of his friends. his voice, heartbroken, confused, despaired, lost in the sounds of battle and war. but then he sobered up as a thought came to his mind. _maybe it's for the best. she doesn't need to see me like this._

his mind in lost in a haze. shock and confusion over the present happenings. pain overriding all the controls on his mind and sending it into overdrive. he could not process what was going on anymore and he was shoved back underwater will no clue.

but he heard voices again.

pidge, again. and another.

stronger, deeper, commanding.

shiro.

his heart lit a small spark of hope and he quickly snuffed it out. he'll light it up once they actually find him and not let himself get caught up in despair again.

"we're getting all the prisoners out. that's one of the last things we need to do."

he heard shiro's voice saying, portraying the leader he was and even in his stern words, he heard the concern for his female team mate. as if he was trying to keep her grounded and not let her get lost in her thoughts. 

he heard the clanging of cells, the creaking as the metal bars swung open and the hurried, stumbling footsteps of his fellow captives. there were hurried words of gratitude and quick shouts of shiro trying ti get everyone out.

"shiro!" that's pidge. and he looks to find her in front of his cell. "come here! this one's unconcious and he doesn't look pretty!" if he hadn't known better as to what he appeared like, he would've adamantly argued that _no, i am gorgeous_. 

he watched as pidge grunted as the door to his cell swung open and he let a smile creep onto his lips. he watched as pidge hesitantly eye the pool of blood that surrounded his head and torso but swallowed her nausea down as she faced him. 

"hey." he breathed. his sister was in front of him. in the flesh. she had come back. come back and found him. he reached out a trembling hand to touch her shoulder-

but it never made contact.

he blinked. once. twice. thrice.

no his hand was still there, as if it was embedded into her body. as if it had gone through it.

"what?" he whispered, voice lost on the ears before him.

he watches pidge with a growing weight in his stomach. his mind slowly clicking clogs into place. his watched her reacher for his face and he wanted to stop her- _nonononono_ \- but it was in vain.

"lance." she breathed out, his name pained as it fell onto her lips. he reached out for her again, wanting to feel her warmth but watched as it went through and touched cold air. "lance!"

"you found him?!" shiro's voice came strong, hopeful- _nononononono_ \- as he skidded into the cell, falling onto pidge's body by his own, worry seeping in as he spotted the pool of carmine.

"lancelancelance-" _nononononononono_ \- she was shaking him, tears falling rapidly down her face, sobs caught in her throat. but he didn't respond. no, it was too quiet now.

"pidge." shiro's voice came down beside her, his own tears falling down freely, shocking lance at the display. "come on, let me carry him."

"shiro! why isn't he waking up?!" he wanted to know too. he was right there. awake. he saw shiro's face falter, eyebrows furrowing as horror creeped into his dark pupils.

lance watched in horrified resignation as he saw shiro's hesitant hand reached for the vein underneath his jaw. one beat. two beats. 

his brain clicked into place as shiro's face crumpled. "nonononononoNO!" he hadn't ever heard such a pained sound come from the seemingly always strong leader. his cry had shocked pidge into silence and lance watched, tears falling, as her brain gears spun and clicked into place.

"NO!" the sound was just as heart wrenching and lance's form crumpled further in front of his team mates. he watched as she reached his neck, his wrist, fruitlessly searching for a pulse.

he knew. she wouldn't find one.

she cried again, the sound echoing painfully off the walls of his cell. "you can't do this to me! i can't lose my brother again! you- you can't!" 

"i'm sorry, pidge." but his apology went unheard.

and he watched as his sister and brother cried over his corpse, dipping a hand accidently into his carmine bath. he watched the horror grow further on the faces, crumbling under the utter despair of the feeling of failure that hung over their heads. 

"it's warm." shiro croaked out, voice breaking and pained. "it's- warm." he forces out with another sob. pidge followed his example, hiccuping as she did so.

lance cried with them. his heart ached, wishing that he could've waited out a bit longer for them. but alas, it was not meant to be his fate. and he had died, embraced by the warmth of his blood. it was declared and done. no going back.

shiro lifted up a hand to his helmet, tapping at his comms buttons, finger stained with lance's blood. he winced as the comms came back to life, shouts of battle and raging war filled his ears as well as depserate calls to pidge and himself.

"shiro! thank goodness we got back to you. the galra are raging here man, and we need-"

shiro cut off hunk's ramblings. 

"he's gone."

and with that, as if the battle seemed to quieten just for them, and silence set in. 

"we were too late."

**Author's Note:**

> Um yeah. This is my first fic. And I hope you liked it? I guess? How does this work? Anyway I'd like feedback, if there's any improvements I can make.
> 
> Also the title is in Latin, but I don't know Latin. So if there's a mistake please let me know. It translates to "we were late" I think? I wanted it to be "we're too late", but eh, small trials.


End file.
